FML.

Even now, i feel as if i'm not leading the life i want to.
EVERYTHING is dictated.
The pressure is seriously suffocating.
WHY are expectations always so high?
Why can't we humans lead simple lives?
Sometimes i dunno who i hate more.
Myself for being such a loser, my dad for being such a dictator, or society for all the expectations they have on my generation.

Went for the NAC2012 talk cos 4th uncle was strongly recommending it.
On one hand, i gained general knowledge. On the other hand, i look around me and see all the money hungry pple, learning to network and sign deals, learning to invest in stocks, shares, commodities, real estate, etc...
It makes me wonder, is life all about making big bucks?
Maybe it's cos i've been leading a comfortable life all my 23years, i don't have the ambition or drive to be some high flyer. I don't have the ability either. All i want is a simple life for now. Next time, i won't know.
But still, my jobs have to be dictated, etc etc etc.....
This is WAY more stressful than studying for exams.
It's like i'm at some road intersection with tons of choices as to what's the next path i want.
Everytime i want to take a step in that direction, it floods over or disappears.
What's left is what i don't really want but what the 'dictator' wants for me.
SIGH.

Oh well... i'll leave it to the lord to guide me.

Oh, and i'm no longer on diet.
Cutting down food doesn't drop my weight anymore.
Anyway i'm finally at 49.
So now it's exercise.... i'll still cut down on carbo though.
But i won't avoid junk food anymore. XD