HUh

Die.. i'm a comp noob and blogger has to 'remove' the upload pics toolbar. I dunno how to 'upload' a pic in html format. As i'm typing this, i dun even know if it'll appear normally when i post it. @.@
anyway, I'm too lazy to blog. Lotsa updates. i shall just type the short random ones. my thoughts and feelings.. i'll just wait till before semester starts again, to blog a long post once and for all.
1) Whee.. met AQUOS for harry potter. so-so movie, but great company! XD
2) OMG! went to cashstudio with evex and kelvin(is that how its spelt?) finally. So fun singing jap songs! songs u'll nvr find in kbox... i wanna go again!
3) Urgh... gotta do lotsa things, but still undone.
4) Had driving today, and i simply love this instructor. Not LOVE love.. but just that he's so friendly and good at teaching! i totally dun feel nervous driving when he's talking... the feeling is like i'm learning from a relative. haha... too bad he's not my regular instructor..
5) Bidding starts tmr... another day closer to school reopening... T.T
6) went malaysia last week. Finally went to jonker's street, the tourist attraction, after like 19 years of going to malacca. Finally got to see a tourist site. Lolx. too bad i din had any chance to buy anything, with my parents rushing for time. =.=''
6) I just wanna say.. i'm sorry yw. i know i should have been acccompanying u this period. But last week was real hectic for me, with relatives staying over and going to malaysia etc...
7) sometimes i feel made use of by certain pple. Is it me being too sensitive, or others being too demanding?
~Mehhz~

short post

EDIT: blogger has some probs, so i'm using an old post to blog. I'm freaking pissed now. I've enuf sh*t to worry about and you come in to start ur nonsense just cos my cables are a triffle messy, even after i DID try to neaten it. Messiness was only due to convenience, but knowing u, u would nvr buy that 'excuse'. RAWR! time to arrange modules. time to stress myself up with the pulling up of my grades. time to face the fact that i'm dumb once again. Many things i wanna blog, but blogger doesnt allow. even blogger is denying me my rights to vent my fustrations. freak.

In the end, my dad still found out i dropped my lappy b4, and made me send it for repair to change the cracked cover. another 1 week without my lappy. =(
Missed cosfest this time. OMG. am i really losing interest in these stuff? or am i just pure lazy to pursue my interest.
i guess, in certain ways, i'm still unable to step out of my comfort zone, and face certain facts. i'm supposed to grow up, but. what the hell have i been doing.
~ MeHhz~

*smile*

I'm sooooo happy... my lappy's revived. life without my lappy is close to unbearable. =)

fed-up

I'm just so fed-up with myself, and my laziness, and my clumsiness. Too pissed to elaborate. Life these days seems so meaningless and argh. Whatever. My incapabilities seem to sneer at me everyday. My dad's back, happy as i am, life is still gonna get tougher and stricter now that he's around. No more TV, dramas online, anime, etc.... Many more things to blog about, but i dun have the mood to do so now.
On a lighter note, i happened to switch the tv channel and caught AYG guys 10m air rifle finals. I'm SOOO glad that ABEL LIM won bronze! So proud of him! though i doubt he even remembers me, since we only trained together about 3 times. But still... Woots! coach must be so proud... (though i wonder if abel is still under him. i think not.)
~MeHhz~

sad

i'm sad. My dearest dearest lappy fell sick. FOR NO RHYME OR REASON. one night it's working really well and fast, and the next day, it takes like more than 3mins to start up. =.='' Then windows side bar TOTALLY not functioning. and the wireless not working at all. Some weird prob which i totally cant figure out. And without internet, my lappy is LIFELESS. o(T.T)o i'm stuck with my uber slow desktop in my room. I miss my maroon lappy. really. urgh... tried backup restoring cos it seems that the windows system is the one giving m prob, but to no avail. sigh.. gotta wait till my dad's back, then be prepared to hear him nag/scold.. esp since my lappy has a huge crack at the side cos i dropped it like 3 months ago. T.T
I MISS MY FAST, INTERNET-FRIENDLY LAPPY!!
~mehhz~

undone.

Die die die.. haven't done a single thing. Out of the list i stated the last time, only completed dating shooting peeps and jogging. Urgh! Finished watching Zettai Kareshi and now watching korean F4. Like after sooo long, i'm finally watching it. :X but i'm still not doing things i'm supposed to. Shyte.
June is gonna be over soon. can i chiong finish driving in 1 month? Lolx. fat hope. K. no more ranting. i gotta start moving. looking forward to wed though~ jacQ~ haha.. and sunday, where shooting peeps unite, watching transformers again! XD

list

Just went out with jacq today~! haha... Watch dance subaru for the second time. Not as intrigued by it already.. but still, no regrets~! XD haha...
RAWR~! i'm addicted to dramas now... =.=''
Die.. lotsa stuff to do!! and i'm not doing anything. shyte.
1) run modem cable lines and condule
2) repack my glass cabinet
3) install photoshop successfully
4) book driving lessons for goodness sake!
5) start reading.
6) date shooting peeps!!!
7) start JOGGING! rawr!
Hopefully i can finish these by this week. If not i'll get a goood scolding from my dad soon.
oops...
~Mehhz~

add on~

Cos i realised i din post any pics so far. Here's one.
OMG~ MIYAVI ISH SOOOOO HAWT NOW~ haha... no more that colourful hip (but freakish) look... MIYAVI's hawt now! XD haha.. thanks to facevoid (aka TJ) for giving me the link to this page. XD

-update-

Damn. been wasting away my hols still. Nothing done. by next week, i should start doing all i should do. Just finished watching a drama. Innocent Love, main actress Horikita Maki. OMG... i just love her so much... Her acting skills are just sooo good. (or maybe i'm just biased.) But be it comedy (atashinchi no danshi) or romance (innocent love), she can totally bring out the storyline and flavour. and she's sooo cute. Haha...
K. Next on, today's supposed to be streetfest. I was looking forward to it. To see bands jamming, etc.. But somehow, today i just din feel like going. Suddenly its like, i dunno who's gonna be there, they all have their own circle of friends, going all the way there alone to see bands jam seem so..... and i don't wanna bore my other friends who are not interested by dragging them there to pei me, esp since the performance will be the usual super noisy jrock. so i ended up not going in the end. On the other hand, i finished watching maki-chan act in innocent love... :P But then, i'm sorry eveline, for not going there to show my support. :X gomenasai.
Last thurs met jacq to watch BLOOD. and i realised why its an M18 show. Blood splurting out everywhere, gore, etc... IMO, it was a total PHAIL movie. Sorry jacq, i wasted ur money. The storyline was so-so, without proper explanations or build-up. Most parts where just action and gore(which appears quite fake to me), which i don't mind, but since i watched the anime BLood+, i was kinda disappointed by the build up in the storyline, or rather, the lack of. Something seems missing. dunno. But anyway, i'm meeting jacq this tues to watch DANCE SUBARU! yes, again, cos i lurve it so much. haha.
Oh, and i wanna thank this friend of mine. Though i doubt u read my blog now, but i just wanna say, thanks for ur faith in me. When u were complaining about ur results, in my heart, i was thinking, there she goes again, results so much better than mine and yet, she's complaining. But then again, i understood ur feelings cos i know ur expectations for urself. =) so when i told u my results, i expected the usual "oh.. jia you.... u can do it" response. But urs was just "Gal! what happened to you?" For a split second, i was pissed, its not like i wanted such bad results. But after that, i was glad. Glad that u had expected me to do better, that u believed i could do better. Remembering the past where we were always worrying about o levels etc, while complaining about our parents... I just wanna say thank you. =)
Oh, and another thing. Though i also know he doesn't read my blog, but.. HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST BRO~!! kk.. cos he doesn't read my bog, so i can type this. Dun tell him wor.. Haha.. Bro~ Hurry up find a GF then i can call her da sao~! Haha.... :P
Hmm.. there are sooo many pple i wanna jio. But cos my mum set a limit. 2 outings a week. so i can't meet them. there's peng you SY for kbox, plus shooting peeps, there's rumin cathy, kaiwen jie hui, there's cash studio with evex, HS, indy pple etc.... Rawr~! Thank god i've met up with aquos already. and this thurs meeting dear~ haha...
On a lighter note, sometimes i wonder if my friends think i'm les, cos i'm always 'dating' my 'dears'.. haha. Even sat couple-seat with jacq when we watched movie. Lolx. But hey~ the pple i les with are attached k? I'm STRAIGHT. XD
~MeHhz~

hmm...

Finally gathered the courage to tell my parents my results, after lying a few times saying 'results not out yet'. I bet my mum is quite disappointed with it, especially since i seem to be 'okay' with my results, no disappointment showing on my face whatsoever. (which i should be, since i told her results came out today. but anyway, my emo-ness is already numbed since results were out 1.5 weeks ago.)
Went for michelle's 21st birthday on sat. Met up with aquos. Unfortunately, jacq wasn't able to make it. =( Today, went with eveline to far east walk walk after going to NUS to collect physics lab report. Din buy anything, though eveline managed to buy the bag she's been looking for. XD
AND. After several 'phail' attempts of watching "Dance! Subaru" with a few friends, i decided to watch it ALONE. Meh... sounds lonely... But I HAVE TOTALLY NO REGRETS! XD I LOVE IT. The movie brought back much memories and the dance parts were ABSOLUTELY beautiful. Plus its in japanese. Jacq should REALLY go watch it, i think u'll like it. XD If anyone wants to watch it, date me! i wanna watch it again. Haha... (yes, i dun mind spending another 6 bucks to watch it again)
I just realised sooo many movies are out. I really wanna watch them. But i can't go out that often. Sigh. There's terminator, transformers, BLOOD!!!, akai ito, etc etc etc...
Streetfest on 13th. Wondering if i should go~
~MeHhz~

emo....

sigh. 今の私はすごく嬉しくないですよ。ことしはも２０歳です、でも自分何の仕事が好きですか、ぜんぜんしらない。レザウートはも持ってきました。すごく悪いよ。今解るんだ。私の頭はとても悪いだね。何もできないんです。恐いでそよ。大学での人は全部天才だよ！どして私はここにいますか?　私は何でもできない、すごく下手のむすめです。ごめね。　
wanted to rant in jap, but realised my grammar and vocab all cmi liao. i'm really that useless. Eph.
~Mehhz~

Screwed.

I had totally forgotten about RESULTS DAY. with all the unpacking stuff, i only remembered it on the 28th. Well. i died. Once again. As badly. nothing else to say. I daren't go on msn. Friends will start asking. Well, to those who know my previous score, i only improved by 0.03. Those who know my blog are the close ones, so... u all should know how badly i fared. Maybe i wont be joining hall activities next sem anymore. I dunno. I must have been daydreaming, to hope that i could score better. In actual fact, i'm still as stupid. maybe i didn't work hard? but i'm much much more prepared then last sem. fk-ed up. i let my parents down once again. just as useless as before.
~depressedMeHhz~

boring....

And so.. i wasted my WHOLE MONTH OF MAY HOLIDAYS unpacking stuff. Not that i take sooo long to unpack my hall stuff, but rather, cos of my home's HDB ungrading done, my family's shifting back. spent about 4 days unpacking my own stuff. But the rest of the time, helping them clean this, clean that, wipe here, mop there, scrub this and that. Then follow my dad around the house drilling brackets and installations, bearing with his high and mighty temper, then constant scoldings. Absolute sianess... Yeah, i shouldnt sulk, i know. But still. WHERE'S MY HOLIDAY!!! one whole month wasted. No anime, drama, manga, tv, internet, outings, jio-ing friends. RAWR!!!
Anyway.... i should bear with it... Come june, i should be done. And at least i get to date yw this thurs, meet aquos for a uber short dinner last wed. And next week (JUNE already!), cash studio with eveline. I can't wait for june~
~MeHhz~

Super uber duper fuber long post.

So this marks the end of uni life year 1. Semester 2 passed in a blink of an eye. Was supposed to work hard this sem and do well. BUT. i think i flunked as usual. hopefully i'ld do better then sem 1, as i'm sure i did put in more effort. But... still... *cross fingers*

I guess sem 2 were full of memorable stuffs, both good and bad. Good things first, enjoyed raffles hall company to the max. Indy suppers, floorball games, ihg, Rh dinner and dance, dance uncensored, study sessions, crapping sessions, karaoke sessions... out of RH, mugging with outside friends (both from and not from nus), crapping, And lastly, staying in RH without going home every 2 days. haha... Bad stuff, some uber irritating incidents, my screwed up results, my lack of motivation, etc...

Anyway, main highlights are, studying with Indy people at the upperlounge/attic during recess week. See? pictures taken from anna's blog.Tables, joined, aircondition, plus friends. Occasional crappings to liven up the mood. =) I love them!

And! Karaoke sessions with indy! that's the last outing after sem2 before everyone went back to their individual homes! Surprisingly there were really alot of pple that came, those from indy and those adopted. Pity some couldn't come. those who went were: hs, crystal, liling, anna, me, john, jy, awl, looi, kevin, andrew, jen sern, abel. And kenneth joined us for dinner. Woots~! great outing! pity i felt guilty if i stayed out late, so opted to return to RH early after dinner. :X No pics, but seriously, i enjoyed it totally, singing old songs, new songs, lame songs, and even hearing kevin sing! haha...

Now, life feels so.... dull, nothing to do. Kay, maybe not nothing to do, but nothing very interesting. Living at my uncle's house now, since my HDB upgrading is not done yet. But was kept busy this week cleaning up the house and helping with certain installations in the house. Freaking hot weather, ended up being glued to my lappy when i've nothing to do. Haven't watched any anime surprisingly, no mood. i'll be busy unpacking this whole week and probably next week too. I'll start dating old friends sometime next week onwards. friends like aquos, yw, shooting buddies, tpjc classmates, etc...

Oh yah! totally hooked on this drama called BLOODY MONDAY. after watching this drama, its like other drama's feel sooo uninteresting.. haha.. I've yet to find one that's as interesting. Imagine, computer genius, hacking into security sites, and what not, coupled with terrorist groups with bioweapons, suspensive storyline, twists here and there. friendship bonds are tested, moral values re-evaluated, doubts arising. There's a possibilty of the whole japan being wiped out. Pure suspense and mystery. plus great actor and actresses.

That's falcon symbol (representing that hacker),

and that's the shuai ge genuis hacker.

And his sis is soo cute! but i can't find a pic. :X and here's a fan-made trailer clip.

Anyway, that's the update on my life so far.... Now... thank you notes to all my NUS friends, who helped me in sem 2 one way or another. though not many will read this :)

hweeshan - hey les partner! haha... thanks for everything, helping me with you know what, chatting together, playing, chilling, eating, etc.. XD kk.. i wont skip meals liao... You too! dun eat sooo little! XD

crystal - my japanese fan buddy... To tell you the truth, i've always admired ur straightforwardness and confidence. thanks for sharing animes like graviation, and carry on rockin on ur bass!

yi shiean - hey~! u're the adopted indy member, but u're already one of us no matter what... =) was great talking to you, somehow it just seems so easy to crap and chit chat with you although i seldom mix with you! haha.. All the best in academics! Jia you!

jia yong - Mr! Seriously, i'm very grateful to you. Helping indy so much, for ur xiao long bao treat, for ur crappings during study week to keep us entertained, and for ur constant advise to study. =) Somehow, u're like 'indy papa'.. haha.. although u name urself emo kiddo. but dun so emo le k? XD

weiliang - hey... thanks for sharing many things and helping me in certain ways.. Hopefully u have free time apart from work during ur overseas trip. *winks* XD and thanks for intro-ing me to floorball. =) god bless!

cui wen - though i din see u in sem 2, but much laughter was reduced due to your absence! Hope to see u soon in sem 3. Take care!

brandon - Brandy~! thanks for all ur help thoughout uni year 1... I'm so glad u're my coursemate.. XD haha.. can disturb u when i dun understand... and it's been great sharing music and crappings with u... though i think next sem i wont be seeing u much, esp since we both are not staying hall. (and i dun wanna be lightbulb during lectures. :P)

kevin - thanks for ur 'deep voice' which provided lotsa fun in indy meetings. And u can sing!!! haha... all the best in TH. Da bao sheares supper back for us k? *wat duh..*

john - Hey hey~! all the best for ur statistics!! XD and have fun learning singlish! master it soon k? XD

yeow kheng - hey mr! thanks so much for ur help in all the modules... haha.. it's been fun crapping with you. Though sometimes ur questions ARE weird. haha... all the best in everything u do!

liling - my fellow blk 3 mate! XD haha.. thanks for ur green tea agar agar!! and for pei-ing me during blk suppers! =) all the best in all u do!

anna - anna banana!! Seriously, i'm very awed by ur love for architecture and ur ability to not sleep and chiong all ur work, and yet be so active in hall stuff. I must learn from you!! God bless! and have fun back in malaysia!

abel - It's 12!! go sleep! haha... thanks for constantly reminding us... though u always end up 'waking up' at 12 plus to join us for supper. haha... and thanks for putting in effort to organise the kota tinggi trip, though we din go in the end.. :X god bless!

andrew - haha... was fun singing when u conducted during carolling.. and thanks for telling me about how to appeal for RH stay and stuff, even though i can't get it.. But still, thanks. and for lending me the bandroom key always, and for cooking during indy suppers! XD

looi - although i never talked much to you. I was surprised to find out that u're from ME cos i tot u were EEE. And also surprisingly, u tot i was EEE when i'm from ME. Haha. It's been great studying at the RH attic, and thanks for ur advise on which paper to do. =) and ur floorball skills are Wow!

liewmin - ahh.... never see u this semester. All the best in everything k? =)

kenneth - hey~ my tpjc senior... haha.. nice knowing u in sem 2. was fun joking around... XD and THANKS for the mno text, although i din really read it, cos diff syllabus.

Rafflesians - Whoever you are, it's been great knowing you. Raffles hall is a major part of my uni life, and i really dun wanna leave it. But unfortunately, i can't stay due to insufficient points. I thoroughly enjoyed my stay in this one year. and hopefully i can go back there in sem2. (dunno why i haven't recieved and acceptance or rejection email regarding master's list though)

aquos - whee~! everyone of us are in nus!! but u all are in fass.. haix.. seldom got to me u all. But whenever i see u all, it always cheers me up! thanks dearies!

eveline - engin mate!!!!!! haha... it's been great attending lectures with you and sometims listen to ur cynical comments!! haha.. it's always fun crapping with u and complaining together. Plus! discussing jrock! XD Lets go cash studio soon!!!

yiwei - yeah.. u're not from nus, but u bunked in nus b4!! haha... lurve ya dear, for listening to me complain and for always being there for me. all the best with ehem. XD

WHEW. all messages typed. now for my rants!!! :X

Sometimes, i'm really wondering, how much a sheltered life i've been living in. So much so that, now, i'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm 20 this year. I CHOSE mechanical engineering as my first choice. I got in. But i'm screwing up my modules. It's not lack of interest, but rather, i'm lazy. Orly? Am i kidding myself cos i refuse to admit i made the wrong decisions? Or rather, i'm at this point in time of my life that i'm just clueless as to what i should do, where my interest truly lies, and what i should do. i seem interested in things i'm lousy at, and 'uninterested' in things i'm good at, so in the end, i'll still do badly due to lack of interest. Seeing how professional my friends can be, at my age, working in jobs that are stressful, or with huge responsibilities, i always feel weird. It's like, i can never imagine myself doing such things. I guess i am a spoilt brat after all, although i used to think i'm well brought up. Father lord, please guide me. Show me my path in life and walk with me. This 3 months break, first month will be wasted unpacking stuff for my home. The next 2 months, what can i achieve? Please, guide me along.

Yay~! i've finally blogged all i want! XD whee~! thanks for reading, if u actually read all the way. haha... cheers!
~Mehhz~

Short update

been wanting to blog for ages, but never gotten the chance. My parents are always around, now that my whole family is sharing a room in my uncle's house. Guess i've been a phantom for this one week cos my dad's lappy doesnt have msn, and meebo doesn't seem to work. Lotsa stuff to update, but i shall blog it another time when can freely take my time to type. Sem2 reflections... lotsa stuff. anyway, been thoroughly addicted to a drama called BLOODY MONDAY. sounds bloody, but it's not. super interesting, bout computer hacking, terrorist bioweapons, etc. And can see shuai ge. haha.. Check out the jap drama, its only 11 episodes. Can watch it at www.mysoju.com. =)
I'll update soon!
~Mehhz~

shyte

i was confident of that subject. But now i realised, i dont remember a thing. And there's not enough time. Argh!!! there goes my fav module. I'm soooo gonna flunk it tmr. Shoots. I can't concentrate now... die die die die die...

yah.yah.yah.

I should be mugging/asleep. sigh.. i'm in holiday mood. when i still have 2 papers. I just finished a manga.... Super nice ending~ :X ooopx. i should be mugging. Haha. K. sleeping time now. mno mugging tmr. eg1108 mugging on sunday. examination time on monday. after 7pm..... INDY PLAY TIME or ANIME or J DORAMA or JROCK or MOVIES or just anything~ woots. Finally. So many things i wanna do....
Animes i should complete/catch up include code geass2, naruto shippuden, bleach, K-ON, SA, and skip beat. AND rewatch initial D anime (1st to 3rd stage). Haha. just played the game on my cousin's psp. OMG. i miss the seeing mazda Rx-7 race, seeing takumi thrash those egoistic punks with his skills, listening to the eurobeat background tracks.. and most of all, the DRIFTINGS!! haha.. the mangaka/animator is damn pro lah! the night races, the time attacks, etc... woots~! *drools*
K. i should not be daydreaming~ time to dream in my sleep. haha. and wake up tmr to listen to lehman's wonderful lectures i've recorded. Haha.
(and watch legend of the condor heroes at 7.30pm oh shyte. so much for mugging.)
~MeHhz~

random~

K.. i should be mugging maths.. but i shall blog first. =P
Pro violinist! doing jap song from Suzumiya Haruhi anime.

This afternoon was terrible. Was feeling damn down. Once again, i'm surprised the wonders indy can do to put me back in high spirits during dinner.
Also, I'm healed! thank god! less coughing, no sore throat or flu~ Whee~
urgh.. maths is.... sian. I hope i can do better than a stupid D+ this time round.
Mugging time... gogogo~!
I know my blog has been full of rants and complains, but hey.. that's what blogs are for right? =P for me to air my fustrations....like now, when i'm so sian with maths.. haha.
I dont know how peng you can major in maths!! XD
edit: Oooh.. here's a nice video on world hunger. Dont waste food!
http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte/TVE9PStP
~MeHhz~

sleeping soon...

blah blah blah.... been unable to concentrate lately...
wanna disturb others, but i dun wanna go bother them.
My usual oh-so-great concentration at night is now disrupted by the constant coughing. Luckily i din go upper lounge to mug. i'll end up spreading my germs and disturbing them with my endless coughing.
Tot the worse (sore throat) was over, since i drank like 10 bottles++ of water for the past 3 days. Woke up this morning, thank god! the peircing pain in my throat is gone! i din need to go UWC for medicine.. But.. coughing is soooo much more distracting.. Just imagine.. d/dt (x y) = *cough cough* (a b c d) (x y) *cough cough*... etc...
How am i supposed to concentrate.
But yahlah, abel's right. Who told me not to sleep early in the first place?
sigh... on the other hand, i hear many "die lah... cannot do well..."'s and "i think i'm gonna fail this mod.. i dun wanna get dean's warning letter.." these days. Sometimes i really wonder... How many of them are true worries... At least in TPJC, the 'die... i'm gonna fail..' are 90% true. In uni, it probably just means that they aren't gonna get a B+ and above.... Smart asses..
I'm way out of their league. If pple wanna look down on me whatsoever, i dont care anymore. i'm below uni average. period.
I need my full concentration tmr. maths.... don't make me hate u.
~MeHhz~

prayer.

I pray to the lord to help me set my priorities right, keep me focused on my studies, and give me the confidence i've lost ever since i entered uni. Bless every single one of my friends and keep them in good health during this hectic exam period.
And, i thank god for all the friends i have. Both in hall and out of hall. No matter how down i'm feeling, they always cheer me up, be it intentionally or unintentionally. For that, i'm eternally grateful to them.
Last day to mug mle. i know i'm dying in every module. Father lord, please grant me the determination to hang on and not give up any modules.
Into thy hands i commit myself. In the name of Jesus, i pray, Amen.
OKAY! the next post will NOT be emo!
Friends reading my blog, GOOD LUCK IN ALL UR EXAMS!!
even for those whose exams are over, good luck for ur results! ^^
~MeHhz~