girl friends

It's really nice to know that once in awhile, you have girl friends to chat with, catch up with, and even share your innermost thoughts with. I'm might bitch about life and stuff, but deep down, i know i'm contented. Contented to have that small circle of friends around me, from different parts of my life, to share stories with, and confide in.
Yet another friend is attached.... I'm glad for her!! =) gonna get 'details' this wed. haha....

I'm a lazy bitch. haha... Procrastination will be the death of me... Meeting fyp supervisor tmr, but i've not done a single thing. Spent the whole day today mugging other subjects/modules, rather than doing fyp. So? I chose the easy way out: sms that i'm sick and set another date to meet her.

I think she's gonna be pissed with me. =P Ooops.
~MeHhz~

CNY

Not in malacca this year....
Missing out the usual fun @ the graveyard in the morn of the first day of cny, the awesome breakfast at the mamak stall, and seeing the little rascal joachim running around playing.....
But Singapore's not that bad too.... just abit sian with FYP hanging at the back of my mind. Oh well..... i guess it's the same for all final years.
Started on a new drama 步步惊心, all thanks to my mum for intro-ing (singapore channel is currently airing it) and for it to be available on youtube. :X haha... busy this coming weekend again, since relatives are coming to my place. Soo much things to do. And school work is slowly piling up while i waste time watching the new drama (thanks mum).
Argh... it's my fault that i can NEVER resist chionging dramas, but only nice ones.... and i just found out from liling this drama has a sad ending... ='( shit..... i hate sad endings... oh well.. it's too nice to stop halfway now. :X
Fri: read lecture notes, revise japanese
Sat: relatives come = clean house
Sun: start fyp?? visit uncle/friend??
Mon: CHIONG fyp again.
Tues: fyp meeting.ZZzzzz...
I'm tired... been surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep the past 2 days.. time to go sleep lo~
~MeHhz~

sugar diet.

Haha.... I can resist normal food, but never sweet stuff.
Anyway, i had the strangest 'diet' today...
8am, a packet of milo. 11am a slice of wholemeal bread that was supposed to be breakfast. 12noon, starbucks iced green tea latte grande which lasted till 5pm while i mugged, munching 6 choc chip biscuits too... Finally decided to eat some proper food for 'lunch' or early dinner. Mixed veg rice, without rice. LOL. Ended up with 2 kinds of veg plus tofu. went for 6-8pm lecture, then ate the remaining 4 choc chip biscuits in my bag on the way home. Couldn't resist a bar of chocolate while watching tv at 11pm.
So there. My food for today.... mostly filled with sugary stuff. erps. and i've put on the weight i lost in USS. haha... Oh well... time to stick to the stringent diet again. hopefully can lose that 1 kg in 3days b4 CNY. =P
Officially 51kg now. lost 8kg since mid-oct 2011. yayness. 2 more to go to hit 49, 6 more to go to hit 45. I wonder how long i can resist good food. Will probably end up putting on weight soon due to cny~ Oh well.... *shrugs* I should be able to stick to less food once school gets sooo busy that i don't think of food. haha...
~MeHhz~

updateeeeeee

So today's tuesday.... 2nd week of school.
I'm happily mugging (slacking) in starbucks YIH.
I think i'm probably going to enjoy this semester the most, with 2 modules on materials, engineering and biomedical materials, jap 3 which i might end up s/u-ing, and fyp which just gets more difficult.
But at least i'm interested in these modules.....

Was thinking about not graduating this semester, to do 1 more semester to pull my cap up to 3.2 to get at least a thrid class honours. Is it worth it? maybe not... 6 more months of school fees to pay, restrictions by parents, etc... I'll probably just graduate after this sem. Haha...

CNY in 6 days.... I'm not going to malacca this year already.. cos my dad's out working. Stay in signapore! and there goes half my ang bao $$ haha..... Oh well... at least I won't be soooo busy travelling etc... Still... it's only the 2nd week of sem and i feel like it's the 5th week or so. Sooooo many things to do!!!

K.... i've procrastinated enough... time to start on fyp. meeting supervisor on thurs morn....

HMM.... Is funny how my best friends in sec school are taking the same mods as my best friends in hall.... Pris with hweesh, jacq with john.... And i've NEVER taken a single module together with them. =.='' rawr. JEALOUS!!! hahaha...... Oh well.... who asked me to choose engine... =.=''
~MeHhz~

=)

Went to USS with Hweesh, Liling, John, Jiayon, Li heng.
Although i've been there before, i didn't mind going again cos there's the transformers ride! Even managed to take that 3 times... worth the money going again, especially since we went for ALL the other rides as well, regardless whether they were kiddy or not. Plus, we caught the fireworks at night too! Only ride left that i didn't take is the canopy one in the lost world. Oh well. no luck Maybe next time if i ever go with my relatives. =)
Basically, with their company, it took my mind off yesterday's matters. I don't feel so down anymore. =) It felt abit weird though, cos i didn't really know liheng at all, but then again, we were in a group, so it's rather easy to mix.

playtime over. time to start on fyp and be serious this sem. gotta find a job to support myself, etc... Jia you sheri!

~MeHhz~

PS: It's gonna be a strange year for me, but i'll try to cope. Job search won't be easy. But i have to have more faith in myself. I grew up thinking more about others, worrying for them etc. This year, just this year, I'm going to be a more selfish girl and put myself first. I don't mean that in the literal way, but rather, i should be doing what i like/want rather than giving in to the demands and expectations of others. As long as i do try my best.

I promise

The moment i've saved 3K after i've work, i'm going overseas.

I won't depend on my parents for any fucking money anymore.

No asking for extra for transport, for textbook, for necessities.

I'll scrimp and save and depend on the monthly pocket money from now on.

I'm such a dumbass for ever hoping my dad could understand.

Wake up sheri.

The minute u're still in tampines blk259, u're forever restricted.

Just asking, cannot say cannot lah.

Go around critisizing the places, the bagpacking, that my friends are stupid for going these places, that i've already gone to japan and given an inch, i want a yard. FUCK LAH.

I'm tempted to snap back that i can easily go without spending your stupid money, but i know the problem's not with money but with travelling. I'm bloody giving u respect by not shoving money back in ur face.

What do i get in return? banned from going anywhere. Malaysia also cannot go.

HAHA... like i could go last time. like i could go if i wanted to. like you EVER allowed me.

Maybe you counted malacca, but i don't.

My Resolution: Travel around as much as possible once i start working.

I'll even shift out of home if i can afford it.

~MeHhz~

I can't resist ranting more.... So i shall continue.

He actually said next time i work and earn my own money and go to those stupid places myself. Ha! be assured. I WILL. anyway, it'll probably be about a 6-8months delay grad trip to me. =) It may be short, i may end up going alone. but i'm depending on myself at least. He better not stop me then. Else, i'll really just shift out of house.

Pple think i'm lucky to have a family that dotes on me.
They don't know how jailed up it can be.

FYP interim presentation

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....
Omg.... my external supervisor is damn crazy!!! HAHAHA....
The examiner pointed out an area which he is concerned with, then before i can answer, my external supervisor cut in and said, "Actually....." .
Then he continued, " Can i answer the question?"
HAHAHA.... the examiner was STUNNED. LOL!!!!
then my prof faster cut in and say it's better for me to answer it myself....

And before this, my prof asked my supervisor if he has any comments. His reply was: I know her work, so there's not much i can question. I'll say the presentation was well done.

LOL!!!! What a bias supervisor i have!!! hahaha...

And then near the end, the examiner actually said my english was good.
O.O
GOOD! haha... Whew.... at least i'm assured now, that i can switch between singlish and proper english when needed. =P I'm gonna rub it in my dad's face when i'm home! XD HAHAHA....

I'mma lucky girl! =)
~MeHhz~

=)

First day of school tmr.
Excited? not really... I've no lessons tmr anyway, just a rehearsal for my interim presentation at 5pm. I'm suddenly feeling very calm ever since i finished my interim report.... I should be panicking at the not-done-ppt-slides... But somehow i'm just drifting along.... haha...
Oh well, interim is just a presentation to introduce my fyp to the profs... so chill.. no panics...

Though i might say that now, i'm sure i'll start shaking with nerves tmr... haha.

Anyway, met indy for cc's bday dinner at suntec fish & co. 3.5 years of friendship.... we're all 4th years now.. struggling through fyp, talking about jobs, seeing friends get married, etc.... I'm always thankful that i made an effort to stay in touch with them despite not living in RH anymore. They were my first group of friends i made in uni, lived with, played with, studied with. =)

first week of school! here i come!

Been listening to Kurt Schneider's vids. His piano gives me chills~ simple melody/accompaniment, but still professional sounding, seemingly effortless. and very real.
~MeHhz~

hahaha~

I'm pro at delaying... seriously!
Spring cleaning pushed to wed. =P
Interim report left with 1 page plus neaten references.
And I was watching ANTM all stars cycle this morn from 3am to 7am++ instead of doing interim report~ So pro right....
Oh well.. i'm almost done. 1 more page to go, then click send~ to my prof.
Tmr do ppt slides... Should be quite fun to deco.
That should be all. =)
~MeHhz~

rawrrrrr

tmr must chiong chiong chiong already! 30% done.
i've sat to do the report as well cos spring cleaning delayed till sun.
But i need the time to do ppt slides as well......
sooo.... tmr! must try to finish the report!
Or at least do 90% of it.
busy week! report tmr.
Slides on sat. Sun spring clean
Monday do fyp website.
Get the website done by wed latest.
And then school starts...... =(
But then, i'm glad cos i get to meet all my friends again. =)
~MeHhz~

pro at procrastination

That's me!
interim report not started on yet...
Assumed i have the whole week to do.
But i realised my prof called for pre-presentation on mon, so i need to finish report asap, then start on ppt slides. But i still need to take apart my desktop (as requested by my dad), do spring cleaning (as requested by mum), and clean my room (as deemed by me), plus wash toilet....
Wha..... school hasn't started and i've so much to do already...
GOGOGO!!!!
~MeHhz~

2011 - 2012

I'm a day late at posting. =X
2011 was generally an okay year.
Although it started off with popo passing away in Jan, but i know she's happily in heaven now, and not suffering from all the aches or discomfort that comes with old age. My 2011 new year's resolution was to concentrate on studies, study hard. I guess i could say i put in quite alot of effort. But somehow it doesn't seem enough. My CAP did improve, but it's by that teeny weeny bit that doesn't make much of a difference. FYP came in the second half of the year. I know my supervisors are well satisfied with my work. I'm proud of myself for putting in that huge amount of effort to learn so much new things and produce satisfying results for them. But it all still doesn't seem enough. I was emo-ing most parts of 2011, trying to find my path in life as i grow up and realise i'm about to step into the working world and that i cannot simply give studies as an excuse to close myself up and surround myself with just family, friends and studies.

I guess 2012's new resolution would be to find my road in life.

So firstly: try my best in all i do.
And not have regrets for anything i've done or choices i've made. Do my best for this final semester and find a job i like. No taking easy way out and stuff like that.

secondly: lose more weight.
i've gained 1.5kg after eating 2 days of proper meals. life is unfair. I'm sick of being put down or compared. But sitting on my butt and wasting my time away ain't gonna make me feel better. The least i can do is try. I can't curb my addiction for chocolates, but i can cut carbo and try to stop being lazy and actually exercise. I'll try. (I hope. My weight has been stagnant for 2 weeks. damn.)

thirdly: find my interest and work towards it.
What's my interest? I still have no idea. closest thing i can come to is probably music. So maybe i should start picking up piano again. I dunno. I'm still pondering on what am i actually interested in.

fourthly: Gain confidence.
Uni life has totally killed my confidence. Being surrounded by awesome pple can be rather taxing on my self-evaluation. It's like, sometimes i feel so worthless. Good for nothing. But i'm trying, slowly, to rebuilt my confidence. If i can't be good at something, or be smart, i can try to work harder, or at least have a slightly more positive attitude. I shall try.

Just 4 resolutions. Not that simple, but i'll try.

So before i welcome 2012, it's time for the customary thank you.

Firstly to engine peeps, who help me survive my school days. In particular, brandon who took modules with me and don't mind doing labs/projs with the dumb me. For being so direct with his words that sometimes i realise life is more simple then i imagine. and for being irritating sometimes that makes engine mods less dull. Eveline for still keeping me updated with j-dramas and stuff to keep the monotonous study life colourful. Jean for intro-ing me sherlock *grins* and having that awesome attitude that never fails to amaze me and motivate me to be more independent. Yk for asking if i'm okay when i'm down and encouraging me on.

Next, to Indy peeps for bringing endless joy and laughter to my life. Hweeshan for always helping me with computing stuff, for always giving sound advice and for that positive attitude you always have that spurs me to ask myself why am i complaining while you are working hard for your dreams. John for all the lame/weird/awesome antics you do to bring that much needed joy and fun into our lives, for showing me that hardwork always pays off, for those chats on psych and how we behave, prompting me to think deeper into the meaning of life and how we shouldn't just waste lives away doing nothing. Jiayong for helping me with accounting, always sharing job advices, intro-ing good food, and being there to frown upon us when we joke too much instead of mugging. Liling for showing me how disciplined one can be by organising RH concert and mugging for modules, for showing me that it is possible to juggle both studies and ccas well. Kevin for asking me why i'm emo when i'm emo, and all the movies i copied from him! Abel for the occasional help in programming, and always saying the weirdest yet entertaining things.

Also, to AQUOS, for being there ALWAYS. Despite not meeting up often, despite all of us being soooooo busy, we always find time to meet for birthdays and stayovers. For giving me an unforgettably enjoyable childhood.

To 2G clique that never fails to amaze me how funny u guys can all be, for inviting me to meetings that always brightens up my day. For somehow being closer friends to me now compared to when we were younger.

Last but not least, to Yw, for being the sister i never had, for listening to me rant on several issues, for watching movies with me, for sharing with me your joys and probs. For everything these past 10 years of friendship have blessed me with.

Most importantly, to my family who loves me and pampers me, although they can sometimes be either overprotective or overbearing. Not to forget God, who has blessed me with all the above people in my life and has watched over me this whole year, guiding my choices and giving me chances.

Thank you.

Now on to 2012. First thing is to start working on the FYP interim report which i have yet to start. I shall aim to finish it within this week. Will be independent and watch sherlock alone in the cinema on tues. Will be meeting 2G clique on wed. yay.
~MeHhz~

update

Yay! met up with engine pple and yw finally~ =)
Watched War Horse (engine peeps) and The Darkest Hour 3D (yw).
But not Sherlock. =( oh well... i might just go and watch myself on tues morn or what... shall see how. Anyway, next meetup is probably with 2G peeps. Missed the previous outing cos i had to go melaka with my family.
Finally rebonded my hair this hols b4 christmas. But apparently it's not THAT well done cos my hairs not REALLY straight. But then again, i AM thankful cos i never liked totally straight rebonded hair. It's cos of my untamable mess of hair on my head that i have to rebond. Others pay to get smooth curls or uber straight hair. I pay to get normal hair that doesn't go in all directions. Haha!!
Shall update later tonight/tmr on the usual reflections/2011 to 2012 transit. =) (when i'm not feeling so lazy with runny nose and sore throat.)
~MeHhz~

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Pple~ =)

Have been too sian/lazy/moody to blog recently. Thinking of expectations and such, I get so frustrated soometimes. *takes deep breath* kk. a step at a time.

Christmas eve celebration @ aunt's house was kinda boring this year.... i guess we're all grown up and there's this awkward gap between us cousins sometimes.... Plus the host's kids had their own friends invited over, so i sort of ended up sitting at a sofa corner reading fanfics. Haha... BUT, we had live saxaphone performance~ =) My cousin and his 3 friends (in band CCA) performed for us~ shiok. =)

Christmas day.... stuck at home, not doing anything.... Supposed to do FYP, but still, i get so restless sometimes. RawR. Holidays are ending soon, and yet i've done nothing i wanted to. Haven't start any dramas/animes/mangas, haven't touched the keyboard much, haven't packed my room to make space for next sems notes. argh. what have i been doing.

Thurs was the exception though, uber fun carolling with RH choir at wheelock place and scotts square. Good acoustics so we sounded real good actually, and there were quite alot who stopped and stood there to listen. =) I miss carolling. was only able to join this one day throughout the hols cos of fyp or going to melaka. Anyway, after carolling, it was the last-minute dimsum dinner gathering at jalan besar. delicious food~ with great company. and extended (11pm) curfew. Haha...

time to date yw, and engine peeps.
~MeHhz~

FARK. There goes hopes of getting even a third class honours.
Can't even get an A- for Laj. What am i good for.
increasing .2 per sem is SUPPOSED to be easy according to everyone.
Seems like all but me. Increased only by .05.
Even if i get all As for the next sem, i can't hit 3.2 anymore.
Oh well. I shouldn't have held expectations of myself in uni, the past 6 sems should have taught me that.
I'm just bellcurve fodder in the end.
~MeHhz~

*breathes out*

1 whole week of relaxing.
tues-wed was AQUOS stayover. went through all the old choir scores, had fun singing them etc... Also went to play 4v4 l4d, though we were all thrashed by the guys. played my old playstation 1 too~ the addictive game: puzzle fighter. All in all, old memories revisited, fun to the max.
thurs- fyp meeting, ended up with 2 main task, to resize image file and link database to login page. Sounds easy right? but for me this programming noob, to do those stuff using PHP is a total killer. I'm still struggling with it now, and my meeting is on wed. SIGH. I AM REALLY NOOB. oh well, doing try and error now. Hopefully i can somehow figure it out. (how the hell am i to learn a new programming language in 3 days.... =.='')
fri- went out with jy and hweesh to sing K for her bday.... had fun~ =) it's been quite awhile since i last sang k.. so i totally lost touch with all the songs. Ended up listening to them more than singing myself. Plus the sore throat i had, i ended up singing out of tune so many times.. haha.. cui.
sat-sun went to melaka. read up on PHP for the 2 days on and off, in between family gatherings. sat dinner, went for satay celup, then sun morn walked around the taman with my grandma. THe air is DAMN fresh! lunch was my aunt's delicious cooking, tea was her awesome choc cheese cake, dinner was white wanton mee from bukit cina (is that how u spell?). Awesome food throughout the weekends. and i gained weight. =.='' haha.... Oh well... can't resist.

So now it's a new week. Mon. And i'm struggling with FYP. argh.... i don't deny that it's fun, but when i have deadlines, it takes the joy out. Esp when there's a chance i can't complete it before wed. I'm a totally noob. ='(
Time to pia again......
(and i can't go for choir carolling cos i'm rushing FYP. SIGH.)
~MeHhz~

why.......... @#$()^%$#$

Just got an email from fyp supervisor.
Wants to meet up asap to give me new assignment since our journal paper is completed.
GREAT...... what's the new assignment? glaucoma detection webserver.
What does it use? Apache, PHP, MySQL and Matlab
What do i know about them? Nothing. Only matlab.
FUCK. my holidays are screwed. and there goes sem8. Gotta learn all those.
SIGH..... haven't met up for details on what i gotta do.. But to receive such an email on this almost fully occupied week..... more pressure. Can't even enjoy the outings. Blah.
welcome to my life~
(although i'm quite sure i'm not the only one suffering in fyp.. .right? =X)
~MeHhz~

i'm glad

chatted with an old friend yesterday.
we don't seem that close anymore.... it's rather saddening.
But then again, i know it's my fault, cos i felt awkward. so much so that i don't tend to start the conversations first. but i treasured the friendship/kinship we had. nice to know that i'm not forgotten. I'll try to be a better friend. =)

Journal paper for fyp supposedly done. :X i hope. been doing it through the weekends. Thanks to supervisor (no sacarsm!), so she gave me good advice and told me exactly where i should edit. Not exactly spoonfeeding cos she didn't tell me what to write/do, but just where to make improvements. i'm thankful.

Have been a rather lazy bitch this hols... Instead of grabbing the free chance to exercise, i've been procrastinating..... thankfully diet is still working... slightly close to my goal of reaching 49kg~ i was 58.9kg in mid oct. I'm now 52.4kg. XD diet DID pay off i guess.... 6.5kg loss in 2 months. whee~ But still, i really should start exercising, then the process can be faster. rawr. but this week's really really busy. prolly start next week.

I guess confidence is really impt. I realised friends who are doing well all possess some sort of confidence that gives them the drive to excel, or believe that they CAN do something and so they succeed. I'm trying now, step by step, to build my almost non-existent confidence. Hopefully, before i graduate, i'ld have more faith in myself. a step at a time. =)
~MeHhz~

busy busy busy!

Wha... final hols b4 school officially ends and job searching starts... BUT, i'm still sooo busy! with fyp AND going out! haha.... It's weekends and my supervisor sends me an email on friday night that states the work should be completed ASAP. =.='' RAWR. oh well... i know it's cos we have to submit the paper soon, but still... SIAN.... i wanted to rest on weekend! been doing fyp fyp fyp. Zzzz...
Next week is busy week again. FYP journal paper submission, tues-wed aquos stayover, thurs or fri hweeh bday outing, weekends melaka(i think).
No time to catch up on shows... omg... all the j dramas, korean dramas, glee, vids B-san reco-ed, plus i ALWAYS wanted to catch up on naruto... Seems like all these are impossible already... Hopefully i've time to touch my keyboards~
Time to go watch movie (at home with family), then chiong fyp to submit tmr morn.
~MeHhz~
I still need to find time for choir carolling, going out with bj couple and evex, and of cos yw too... busy busy busy!

DEC

OMG. it's already dec. Christmas is in about 20 days.
As usual, i'm the queen of procrastination. I'm to meet my fyp supervisor tmr morn 9am, and i've yet to touch the code i'm to program. haha... to do plot AUC and ROCs... oh well.. Shall chiong within an hour cos my mum insists i sleep by 1am. Haha....
Went 'christmas shopping' with my mum and aunts yesterday (sat).. Orchard was DAMN crowded. haha.... just bought some stationary (which can easily be bought from popular =.='') and that's about it. My mum managed to buy presents for several relatives though, so it was quite a haul. I was SOOOOO tempted to by clothes and shoes. haha... I think i'm turning more 'girl' compared to last time. My hands TOTALLY itch to buy those awesome heeled shoes.. ah!! all so nice! But i know there's no space in my house and i probably won't wear them out cos their so inappropriate. but still... the shoes are sooooo nice!!! and there's that agnes b tee that i'm soooooo tempted to get. simple, yet classy. my mum was like: 40% off leh.... just buy lah.... But on the other hand.... 170+, 40% off, it's still 100+ for a PLAIN tee...... sigh. i'm not one to splurge that way lah. So i didn't get it in the end.
Haha... It's quite strange, how my parents are soooooo agreeable whenever they realise i wanna buy something (girly), even though i'm always hesitant. I think if i see a 200+ bucks dress and wanna buy it, my parents will be so happy to do that, just cos it's feminine. LOL. But i think i'm more of a sucker for shoes... plain flats, sandals, heeled shoes, boots, etc.... But i know i don't wear them (especially for school) so there's no use buying. SIGH...
Oh! Saw a fred perry bag..... damn tempted. I might buy that as christmas present from my parents. Shall think about it~ (and probably end up not buying cos i have more than enough bags).
Oh well time to do fyp.
~MeHhz~