Holidays.....

Sometimes i wonder why am i giving myself so much stress by going for my hall choir carolling for that 2 puny aux points which i might not even get. Choir carolling, a chance missed in my sec school days cos i had to go malaysia withmy family. Now, my hols are practically wasted due to choir. My whole december burned. Not that i mind this, i have nothing else to do any way. But because of choir, if i wanna go out with my friends on my free days, i have to see that black face of my mum. Because i'm mostly out this dec, my mum's unhappy. She seems okay at times, but bad mood on other days. If i'm a bad daughter or wad, i might just heckcare, anyway, i'm old enuf to lead my own life fruitfully. But i'm not one to just ignore my mum's feelings. I really feel guilty. But i feel i've not done anything wrong anyway wad~!?!?! Argh!!! Furthermore, i really soooo wanna meet all my friends, my jc mates, my shooting mates, my sec skool dears, aquos, eveline, etc... I really wanna call them up for a game of badminton, or go rollerblading, or shopping, etc... But i know i'll face an even 'black-er' face from my mum. Should i have joined the choir carolling!??! Sigh.... I'm missing all the friends outings not exactly because of choir, but cos i dun wanna see my mum having that black 'sian' face, but this is also indirectly caused by choir. Why did i even apply for choir carolling in the first place?!?! But i already know my ans. I LURVE the blending of voices, i miss choir singing and i love christmas songs.
BUT was it really worth it to get myself so stressed up with time arranging with my friends, pleading my mum to let my out, feeling guilty at the same time?
I wonder....

Anyway, sorry this post is kinda emo, cos i'm stressing myself over such insignificant stuff now. This hols is not that 'sian', just that i haven't updated on the enjoyable stuff.. I'm just wanna relieve myself by typing this chunk of stuff out first... :X
~MeHhz~