烦死人 part1

这几天，不知为何心情很沉重。可能是应为还没开学，就遇到了MODULES的问题。或许是应为害怕会再次FLUNK我的考试。自从进入大学以后，一切都不顺利。测验考试全都不理想，父母亲的约束让我无法呼吸，等等问题。但我知道，这就是人生。一直以来我都被父母亲保护着，Alevels之后，不能做工，不知道原来社会是如此。进了大学，眼看着大家都非常独立，非常有上进心，非常聪明，非常能干，都努力的朝着自己的理想前进。而我却无法专心的念书。以前的我冲满了自信，一直相信自己是能读书的料，但现在我早已任命了。我是个笨猪。三天后又开学了，又要面对那些聪明的朋友，提醒自己我是个笨蛋，所以不能再做只懒猪，得努力读书。但我能吗？一点儿信心都没有。对于自己的缺点，我很清楚，却无法改掉坏习惯。是应为我不够努力吧。真的不想上学。
Ha... typing in chinese makes me forget what i've wanted to rant about. this is only one point. Oh, remembered. And it doesn't help much knowing that my parents expected alot from me. the usual comparisons they do, never stops. why so and so can do so well, why other family's children pass out from uni and get good jobs etc. ha. plus my dad with his usual badmood that leads to endless scoldings just reminds me how useless i am. I can never meet their expectations. Sem3, another chance for me to work hard. But i dread it as usual. I need to self psycho.... i love engin, i love maths, i love engin.
to be continued~ (haha. i shall rant all my sian-ness b4 school officially reopens!)
~MeHhz~