update

Yay! met up with engine pple and yw finally~ =)
Watched War Horse (engine peeps) and The Darkest Hour 3D (yw).
But not Sherlock. =( oh well... i might just go and watch myself on tues morn or what... shall see how. Anyway, next meetup is probably with 2G peeps. Missed the previous outing cos i had to go melaka with my family.
Finally rebonded my hair this hols b4 christmas. But apparently it's not THAT well done cos my hairs not REALLY straight. But then again, i AM thankful cos i never liked totally straight rebonded hair. It's cos of my untamable mess of hair on my head that i have to rebond. Others pay to get smooth curls or uber straight hair. I pay to get normal hair that doesn't go in all directions. Haha!!
Shall update later tonight/tmr on the usual reflections/2011 to 2012 transit. =) (when i'm not feeling so lazy with runny nose and sore throat.)
~MeHhz~

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Pple~ =)

Have been too sian/lazy/moody to blog recently. Thinking of expectations and such, I get so frustrated soometimes. *takes deep breath* kk. a step at a time.

Christmas eve celebration @ aunt's house was kinda boring this year.... i guess we're all grown up and there's this awkward gap between us cousins sometimes.... Plus the host's kids had their own friends invited over, so i sort of ended up sitting at a sofa corner reading fanfics. Haha... BUT, we had live saxaphone performance~ =) My cousin and his 3 friends (in band CCA) performed for us~ shiok. =)

Christmas day.... stuck at home, not doing anything.... Supposed to do FYP, but still, i get so restless sometimes. RawR. Holidays are ending soon, and yet i've done nothing i wanted to. Haven't start any dramas/animes/mangas, haven't touched the keyboard much, haven't packed my room to make space for next sems notes. argh. what have i been doing.

Thurs was the exception though, uber fun carolling with RH choir at wheelock place and scotts square. Good acoustics so we sounded real good actually, and there were quite alot who stopped and stood there to listen. =) I miss carolling. was only able to join this one day throughout the hols cos of fyp or going to melaka. Anyway, after carolling, it was the last-minute dimsum dinner gathering at jalan besar. delicious food~ with great company. and extended (11pm) curfew. Haha...

time to date yw, and engine peeps.
~MeHhz~

FARK. There goes hopes of getting even a third class honours.
Can't even get an A- for Laj. What am i good for.
increasing .2 per sem is SUPPOSED to be easy according to everyone.
Seems like all but me. Increased only by .05.
Even if i get all As for the next sem, i can't hit 3.2 anymore.
Oh well. I shouldn't have held expectations of myself in uni, the past 6 sems should have taught me that.
I'm just bellcurve fodder in the end.
~MeHhz~

*breathes out*

1 whole week of relaxing.
tues-wed was AQUOS stayover. went through all the old choir scores, had fun singing them etc... Also went to play 4v4 l4d, though we were all thrashed by the guys. played my old playstation 1 too~ the addictive game: puzzle fighter. All in all, old memories revisited, fun to the max.
thurs- fyp meeting, ended up with 2 main task, to resize image file and link database to login page. Sounds easy right? but for me this programming noob, to do those stuff using PHP is a total killer. I'm still struggling with it now, and my meeting is on wed. SIGH. I AM REALLY NOOB. oh well, doing try and error now. Hopefully i can somehow figure it out. (how the hell am i to learn a new programming language in 3 days.... =.='')
fri- went out with jy and hweesh to sing K for her bday.... had fun~ =) it's been quite awhile since i last sang k.. so i totally lost touch with all the songs. Ended up listening to them more than singing myself. Plus the sore throat i had, i ended up singing out of tune so many times.. haha.. cui.
sat-sun went to melaka. read up on PHP for the 2 days on and off, in between family gatherings. sat dinner, went for satay celup, then sun morn walked around the taman with my grandma. THe air is DAMN fresh! lunch was my aunt's delicious cooking, tea was her awesome choc cheese cake, dinner was white wanton mee from bukit cina (is that how u spell?). Awesome food throughout the weekends. and i gained weight. =.='' haha.... Oh well... can't resist.

So now it's a new week. Mon. And i'm struggling with FYP. argh.... i don't deny that it's fun, but when i have deadlines, it takes the joy out. Esp when there's a chance i can't complete it before wed. I'm a totally noob. ='(
Time to pia again......
(and i can't go for choir carolling cos i'm rushing FYP. SIGH.)
~MeHhz~

why.......... @#$()^%$#$

Just got an email from fyp supervisor.
Wants to meet up asap to give me new assignment since our journal paper is completed.
GREAT...... what's the new assignment? glaucoma detection webserver.
What does it use? Apache, PHP, MySQL and Matlab
What do i know about them? Nothing. Only matlab.
FUCK. my holidays are screwed. and there goes sem8. Gotta learn all those.
SIGH..... haven't met up for details on what i gotta do.. But to receive such an email on this almost fully occupied week..... more pressure. Can't even enjoy the outings. Blah.
welcome to my life~
(although i'm quite sure i'm not the only one suffering in fyp.. .right? =X)
~MeHhz~

i'm glad

chatted with an old friend yesterday.
we don't seem that close anymore.... it's rather saddening.
But then again, i know it's my fault, cos i felt awkward. so much so that i don't tend to start the conversations first. but i treasured the friendship/kinship we had. nice to know that i'm not forgotten. I'll try to be a better friend. =)

Journal paper for fyp supposedly done. :X i hope. been doing it through the weekends. Thanks to supervisor (no sacarsm!), so she gave me good advice and told me exactly where i should edit. Not exactly spoonfeeding cos she didn't tell me what to write/do, but just where to make improvements. i'm thankful.

Have been a rather lazy bitch this hols... Instead of grabbing the free chance to exercise, i've been procrastinating..... thankfully diet is still working... slightly close to my goal of reaching 49kg~ i was 58.9kg in mid oct. I'm now 52.4kg. XD diet DID pay off i guess.... 6.5kg loss in 2 months. whee~ But still, i really should start exercising, then the process can be faster. rawr. but this week's really really busy. prolly start next week.

I guess confidence is really impt. I realised friends who are doing well all possess some sort of confidence that gives them the drive to excel, or believe that they CAN do something and so they succeed. I'm trying now, step by step, to build my almost non-existent confidence. Hopefully, before i graduate, i'ld have more faith in myself. a step at a time. =)
~MeHhz~

busy busy busy!

Wha... final hols b4 school officially ends and job searching starts... BUT, i'm still sooo busy! with fyp AND going out! haha.... It's weekends and my supervisor sends me an email on friday night that states the work should be completed ASAP. =.='' RAWR. oh well... i know it's cos we have to submit the paper soon, but still... SIAN.... i wanted to rest on weekend! been doing fyp fyp fyp. Zzzz...
Next week is busy week again. FYP journal paper submission, tues-wed aquos stayover, thurs or fri hweeh bday outing, weekends melaka(i think).
No time to catch up on shows... omg... all the j dramas, korean dramas, glee, vids B-san reco-ed, plus i ALWAYS wanted to catch up on naruto... Seems like all these are impossible already... Hopefully i've time to touch my keyboards~
Time to go watch movie (at home with family), then chiong fyp to submit tmr morn.
~MeHhz~
I still need to find time for choir carolling, going out with bj couple and evex, and of cos yw too... busy busy busy!

DEC

OMG. it's already dec. Christmas is in about 20 days.
As usual, i'm the queen of procrastination. I'm to meet my fyp supervisor tmr morn 9am, and i've yet to touch the code i'm to program. haha... to do plot AUC and ROCs... oh well.. Shall chiong within an hour cos my mum insists i sleep by 1am. Haha....
Went 'christmas shopping' with my mum and aunts yesterday (sat).. Orchard was DAMN crowded. haha.... just bought some stationary (which can easily be bought from popular =.='') and that's about it. My mum managed to buy presents for several relatives though, so it was quite a haul. I was SOOOOO tempted to by clothes and shoes. haha... I think i'm turning more 'girl' compared to last time. My hands TOTALLY itch to buy those awesome heeled shoes.. ah!! all so nice! But i know there's no space in my house and i probably won't wear them out cos their so inappropriate. but still... the shoes are sooooo nice!!! and there's that agnes b tee that i'm soooooo tempted to get. simple, yet classy. my mum was like: 40% off leh.... just buy lah.... But on the other hand.... 170+, 40% off, it's still 100+ for a PLAIN tee...... sigh. i'm not one to splurge that way lah. So i didn't get it in the end.
Haha... It's quite strange, how my parents are soooooo agreeable whenever they realise i wanna buy something (girly), even though i'm always hesitant. I think if i see a 200+ bucks dress and wanna buy it, my parents will be so happy to do that, just cos it's feminine. LOL. But i think i'm more of a sucker for shoes... plain flats, sandals, heeled shoes, boots, etc.... But i know i don't wear them (especially for school) so there's no use buying. SIGH...
Oh! Saw a fred perry bag..... damn tempted. I might buy that as christmas present from my parents. Shall think about it~ (and probably end up not buying cos i have more than enough bags).
Oh well time to do fyp.
~MeHhz~

thanks, for listening to me.
for being there. *hugs*

yet again, once i'm home, i've got to face it.
fml.

why me.

bah.

i suddenly remembered why i have a love-hate relationship with holidays.
i think i'll be looking forward to school sooner than i thought.
~MeHhz~

owarimashita!

Exams for sem7 are over FINALLY.
K, put in effort during the sem but sort of lost motivation when it's exam time... Hopefully i don't do too badly. :X now it's fyp left.... mon to meet my prof... sigh...
BUT! I don't care! I just ended exams today!! yayayayayay~!!!!
Feeling damn tired (survived on 3 hours of sleep), but i'm happily facebooking and reading fanfics. basking in freedom for the moment, don't wanna go and sleep yet.
To celebrate the end of exams, went to vivo with john and hweesh~ Was sort of stoning, but still enjoyed it! it's been ages since i really walked around vivo to see stuff and chitchat, rather just rushing to the movies then dinner and home like always... was randomly walking around with john, then met up with hweesh for awesome german lunch. tried pork knuckles and sausage platter! then we watched puss in boots! window shopped abit, going into bookshops (seeing weird titles), toys'r'us (playing with toys), national geographic, basically to sit and nua, then decided to go bakerzin for tea.... Had to go home after that (curfew -.-'') but still, i had fun. EXAMS ARE OOOVAARR!!!
Just a thought: the kids toys these days are sooooo nice!!! i'm jealous!
haha~ kk.. time to bathe and slack!
~MeHhz~

awesome

i think i'm awesome. Exam tmr morn 9am.
7chapters to mug.
I'm only at the first chapt.
How awesome can i get?
~MeHhz~
probably end up S/U-ing the mod. :X

focus

I just can't focus.
i was supposed to be prepared for the module. But till now, i'm only 20% done for my cheat sheet. my mind keeps wondering to various stuff and problems i can't help but think about. I distract myself with one-shot fanfictions. i turn back to my cheatsheet after a story, and my mind gets distracted again after 15mins or so.
SIGH.
come on sheri.... concentrate. 2 more days!
Don't fail.
~MeHhz~

@#*

no sense of responsibility despite your age.
sod off.

Carolling~

Walked past a group of sec school carollers in Tampines1.
First reaction i had (in my mind) was: OMG. Carolling!
Second: Ah!! this song!! i sang b4.
Third: yay~ sings along softly.
Fourth: OMG... i miss carolling!!

I AM looking forward to joining choir carolling now~ haha.. totally miss the experience of joyfully singing songs tgt in a choir. Thank god for RH that i can always go back and join them as alumni. Though this year, cos of FYP, i might not be able to go... =( See how first bah.

2 more papers to go for exams.... kinda slack this sem for exam preparations. During the semester, i chionged, but now i just feel so sick of all these. It's a bad period to start slacking of, but sigh..... Oh well... I'll try to hang on till sat! TRY....
~MeHhz~

if.

if this is what growing up means, i hope i've never grown up.
to accept the possibility of the once-thought impossible, to be surrounded by negative thoughts and yet go on in life as if all is fine and well, to have to face heavier responsibilities that you can never shirk or actually turn to someone else about.
but alas, this is life.
Turning to fanfictions gives me temporary relief, to innocently live in fantasy storylines where happily ever after is always possible.
Can i not grow up and open my eyes to the realities of this world?
if only.....
~MeHhz~

brain dead.

Totally not absorbing tmr's module. I hope i don't fail.
It's open book. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, let me scrape a B-???
Or C+.... i'll be happy.
Brain totally not functioning. Thank god japanese was rather doable today.
Sigh. shall sleep early, wake up tmrmorn to mug.
NO use stoning and cramping stuff when brain is dead.
~MeHhz~

LALALA~

OMG... 1:21am... my exam's in less than 12 hours... and i've not touched the module yet. Wha.... i'm sooooo full of confidence for japanese! (sacarsm)
I know i can pass, but i doubt i can do well. So... mugging time now!!!
Just came back from my cousin's wedding... Awesome food, videos, cute couple, etc... But i felt sooo uncomfortable in dinner wear. haha.. jeans and tee are still the best!
I'm so crazy this sem... totally unprepared for exams but i'm strangely nonchalant. I wonder when will i start to panic.. tmr? before the exams? or totally never? It's like i don't care anymore, though i SHOULD. Sigh... sheri ah sheri ah..... wth are u doing with your life?!?!?!
~MeHhz~

:X

fuck.
was nagged at when i was feeling shitty, and was unable to control my mouth.
Ended up talking back and being rude again.
shit. i'm the bad daughter once again for reacting this way when my mum was only being concerned.
sigh.... feeling guilty once again....
Why can't i ever control my reactions with my family?
I've hurt the sensitive her once again.
*am really guilty*
useless me.
~MeHhz~