end of my NUS uni life.

It's ended.
I can graduate.
But with a sucky degree that i'm sure my parents will be disappointed.
i haven't mentioned anything to them though.

i've tried my best for this last sem.
I really did.
But apparently not enough.
it's never enough.
i still can't reach that f-ing '3'.
*laughs* and i'm not referring to 3rd class, but rather CAP 3.
Missed it yet again.
it's time i accepted my abilities.

Oh well. I'm fine and resigned anyway.
Used to getting shit results ever since uni started.
it's time i started to seriously find jobs.
buck up sheri.
start of a new road in life.
Time to go order that graduation gown you were hesistant to cos u were afraid you might fail modules and not graduate.

~MeHhz~

rawr.

I need to start looking for jobs.
I've been a pig. procrastinating job search....
Happily going out when my parents ask me to, else i stay home and am addicted to tumblr.
sheesh.... =X
and hence the lack of updates on my blog, cos tumblr's more fun. LOL.

Things to do:
-resume
-job search
-aussie search
 -prac piano (stop slacking about)

OMG. i just remembered results are gonna be out soon. The very last time i'm gonna receive results from NUS. Erps. 1 more week.

Oh.. and nope, i wasn't slacking for the past 2 weeks. a week and a half was spent entertaining my malaysian grandma who came down to singapore, and then i went up to melaka. so yup, i'm just starting to 'enjoy' my hols after exams.... and COMPLETED the 3 hunger games books~ YAY! awesome! I'm soo looking forward to watching the next movie. Or even rewatching Hunger Games again.
~MeHhz~

uuuuuupdate~

1 week since i last blogged...
i'm gonna lessen blog updates now...
Won't change blog, but i won't blog as often.
Tumblr is more fun. Haha.

Went marina barrage with RH pple.
FUN FUN FUN.

But i missed the avengers outing with engine pple... SIGH.
Oh well.. maybe i'll treat my family and bring them. =)

Busy week cos have to entertain grandma...
Didn't even have the chance to happily chiong hunger games book.
*cries*

tmr badminton with aquos~ XD

sheesh sheri!!!

My last paper... freakin last paper....
and i have NO MOTIVATION to mug at all...
argh...
probably gonna sleep soon.. wake up at 5am to mug....
Hopefully the *omg exam in 2-4hours* mindset can force me to mug.
Argh..... i'm such a lazy and unmotivated bitch...
so much for putting in lotsa effort in my last semester.
I'm already slacking b4 my last paper.
*slaps self*

MUG BITCH!!! haha....

On a side note, went to church today.
After SO LONG... =X felt guilty for not waking up and going to church on Sundays.... kept giving myself excuses and stuff... i've been LAZY.
But surprisingly, my parents wanted to go this week onwards. Praise the lord! Have been praying for YEARS for my dad to go to church. So yup, i went with them~ =) Awesome feeling, to go with my family... (though my bro couldn't this week cos he had to attend some wedding lunch). Looking forward to next sunday~

I might end this blog soon. I dunno. Getting irritated by the spammings in the chatboxes by pple i dunno. I've to keep deleting them....
I might either start a totally new blog (still under blogspot), or maybe start a tumblr account instead. Or both.. One for public, the other for private. 
hmm...
~MeHhz~

one more paper....

Just one more paper.... and i can't concentrate.
Zzz... Come on sheri.... LAST PAPER!!!

Finally submitted my FINAL thesis submission on fri.
*Whew~* it's officially over.
Slacked a little on friday.
Should have mugged today.. but.... =X
Oh well.... shall start after i've typed these...

HUNGER GAMES BOOK~
I'M COMING ON MONDAY!!!
haha....

Thanks yw for the company today!!! *hugs*

~MeHhz~

crazy

I suddenly have this crazy idea:

Should i sign on a career with the ARMY? hahaha....

Probably not... LOL.
~MeHhz~

hmm

Somehow, i feel as if i've wasted my 4 years in uni.
Yes, i've made new friends, gained new experiences, pushed myself over limits in terms of not sleeping and chionging assignments. But somehow i feel that i've not done enough, probably cos i used to achieve much much better results, have more confidence, etc.... I'm surrounded by high-achieving friends who have worked hard and got what they wanted, and when i look at myself, I feel as if i've gained nothing. Academically not there, mentally weak, physically growing fatter.
So this last sem, i've pushed myself. Chionged for FYP, chose a proj that is totally new to learn from scratch. This is the last 6 days of my uni life, 2 more papers. Today's paper i'm glad to say, i breezed through it. But unfortunately, it's only 30%. The other 70% was on proj, which my group didn't do well, and midterms which i got 1 mark BELOW the average. I tried, i really did try. I guess i can only pray for the best now.
Tmr's paper. Materials. Mentioned it to my dad. His response, EASY LAH..... and he made EVERYTHING sound so simple. ha. I dunno whether to laugh or cry. Here i am trying to stuff info into my brains, there he is talking like it's so freaking simple, wondering why i'm struggling with it. sigh..... Will mug hard after dinner. Yup, it's 10pm and i haven't had my dinner... cos my mum's busy and my family is used to eating all tgt. I'm not hungry yet though~ so it's okay~.
So, back to topic. 4 wasted years. I know i've gained stuff, but somehow i've not achieved as much as i want to. Maybe i expect too much from myself, or had too high hopes. So anyway, this last sem, i WILL CHIONG.
oh btw, i HIT 49.5KG!!! hahaha.... K~ i sort of cheated cos i weighed myself BEFORE i ate anything early in the morning.... so after meals i'm probably >50kg~ but still.... yay. Unfortunately, i might be having some slight eating disorder. LOL. i actually feel GUILTY when i eat rice/carbo. =X bleh~ i'm an unhealthy bitch now. but 6 more days, then i'll have time to excercise, then i'll eat proper meals again.... i'm salivating thinking of wanton mee, curry rice, carrot cake, char kuay teow, etc...  I think it's been like 4months since i've actually eaten a bowl of rice. I did have a few scoops of rice the past few weeks, but not like a bowl-full for a proper meal.... I kept feeling guilty. TSKTSK. It's strange though, i can control carbo but i can NEVER control sweets.... i'm still eat popcorn, chocs, caramel biscuits, etc... =P
Oh well... after exams, i'll push myself to excercise and lose the flabs~ haha... i hope... or i might just be lazying around eating more chocs, reading more fanfiction. =P
6 more days of chionging..... Yup. i shall go mug now. =) SHERI STAY POSITIVE!
~MeHhz~

BYE WICKED

It just striked me that it's 23rd April already.
Wicked's gone from Singapore.
Yesterday was the last show.
Next stop is Korea...
Missed my chance to watch it a second time cos of FYP, exams and saving $$....
Bye David Harris (Fiyero), Jemma Rix (Elphaba), Suzie Mathers (Glinda)~
BYE WICKED~
T.T
~MeHhz~

before my third last

Home alone for 2 days cos parents are in malacca.
hard to find motivation to mug.
but i did try my best lol.
Completed all the lecture notes at least, and for the first time in my uni life, i'm turning to textbooks, for my biomaterials mod.... it's an interesting module, but knowing my capabilities, whatever i'm interested  in or put effort in, will never lead to an A or even B+. It's impossible in NUS. For 4 years, i've been trying. this last sem, i'm trying again. but i hold not hopes.

Studied with yw on sunday and caught Battleship with her. =) and Battleship was awesome. Seriously. It might be cos i read the reviews that said it wasn't good, so i didn't have much expectations..... and thus i found the movie awesome: funny at the right parts, awesome action at other parts. Cool mecha stuff that appeals to suckers like me. Haha.... and Rhianna is just too cool. haha.

Sigh..... 3 final exams. mugged for 2. but only contents of 1 went into my head. Rawr. I should go mug.
~MeHhz~

the last 10days....

Yup, 10 more days to end of exams.
Been tempted by hunger games, and the MANY ebooks i copied from jy....
But i SHALL NOT be tempted.
Been mugging harder than usual.
Cos this is my last chance, i don't wanna regret.
I may not do as well as others cos i'm not capable,
but at least i can say i did try my best.

Thanks to hweesh for recommending com1, recess week has been rather shuang to stay in the cold aircon com1 and mug with toilets, water coolers and canteen sooo nearby. With john and jy providing entertainment when i'm sick of mugging. i need to mug more, and be more efficient though. ARGH. esp when i'm home this weekend.
last 10 days... CHIONG AH~

btw, fyp presentation was over.. kena shot at. and i think i was a bit too defensive... hmm... dunno.. it's over, forget it. haha... shall pray hard and hope for the best this sem.

*runs back to studying polymers...*
~MeHhz~

presentation over

Yup, FYP presentation over.
Not very well done.
But it's over and done with.
Some minor edits for my thesis to be done,
before i send it in for final submission.
3 papers to go....
and then my 16 years of study will be over.
Feeling kinda nostalgic.
I don't wanna regret, so i'm gonna put in more effort.
Esp for these last 3 papers.
Fanfic stopped.
But i have hunger games and it's 2 sequel in my comp.
HUGE temptation....
I'll probably spend Thurs to finish them all at once.

Feeling so sian as i type this.
Maybe cos i know i'm gonna miss school life.
miss all my dear friends. From RH, from engine.
*hugs them all*

And also, i'm still aimless in life.
still.
oh well, concentrate on exams first.
bye.

~MeHhz~

why is it when it's hectic week for me, shit comes knocking?
as if academic is not enough.....
and after everything, you tell me to ignore all that was said, and concentrate on studies. Like I can possibly just switch everything off.
absurd.
come on lah.
what do you want me to do?
i'm powerless.
seriously.
~MeHhz~

VERY LAST WEEK

The VERY LAST WEEK of my UNI LIFE.
Totally slacked today(mon).
Finished the fanfic of 115 chapters, each chapter taking about 30mins to complete.. haha. Totally hooked. Was supposed to do proj ppt slides, but ended up slacking.
Wanted to watch with yw THE VOW, but she has other dates with her colleagues, so decided to ask the RH pple.. Ended up everyone's so busy.
Not that it's a really nice movie or what, but i just had the 'want' to watch some sappy romance story, shed afew tears and smile at a happy ending. The vow seems like such a movie... Almost wanted to watch it alone.. But then decided to wait till recess week to catch it with RH pple.
But then, john didn't feel like mugging after his thesis submission, so we managed to catch it. haha. Thanks John for the company! XD

Overall, a rather sweet movie, sort of like The Notebook, though the notebook seemed to be more meaningful. But The Vow was more thought provoking imo. The Notebook showed us how love can last till an old age, through trials and tribulations. But The Vow inspired thought on how things can go wrong, but what is meant to be will be meant to be. The ending was sort of disappointing in the sense that it's not the normal kinda UBER happy ending, but it made sense. More sense than the usual chick flick. and a tiny part of it was on forgiveness. A minor character said: I stayed. I didn't leave because of the bad that he had done. I stayed because of all the good that he had done. I chose to forgive.
From the various adult couples i've seen, those in love, no longer in love, distrust existing between them, divorce, on the brink of divorce, etc etc etc... It kinda made me respect that character for being able to forgive and trust again.
But on to the main couple in the movie, the guy was just so sweet, but not overly sweet such that it's fake. He does stupid things as well to anger his 'wife', etc... the ending was a little abrupt, but i rather liked it. =) It's interesting, how life goes on.

Why dwell on the past, when u can create much more memories in future?

Haha. enough slacking. time to chiong for my last sem. Firstly, practice japanese oral. Secondly, prepare FYP slides. Thirdly, rehearse grp proj presentation. Fourthly, mug for FINALS!
~MeHhz~

regrets...

Sigh... Busy past month.
Missed Beauty and the Beast in 3D.
There're no more time slots... =(
SIGH.....
Maybe i should just rewatch the normal one i have again,
just to satisfy myself.
When i have the time. =X
~MeHhz~

alcohol

Koped the pics from calvin's fb.
We started with this:Ended with this:Haha... first time i tried so many diff types.
and they taste better than beer! in my noob opinion. XD haha.
~MeHhz~

I love RH life.

So... 31march was RH DnD. Final DnD i'm gonna attend in NUS. Basically bought the tix cos i'll be in the company of my 'family' of 4 years.... Food was soso, emcee and activities were not bad.. phototaking was camwhorish as usual. haha.
BEST PART: i'm allowed to stay over at RH for the night. So.......
Back in Hall at 11pm++ camwhored till 12+mn, then we all went to clean up...
gathered at samantha's room for a night of drinks and games. haha...
Yup.. DRINKs. Finally got the chance to 'test' my limits. Was actually feeling sick, with sore throat and slight flu... But after some goading, i ended up drinking jaggerbomb first.... And i think cos of the redbull in the mixture, i sort of felt better.... Continued drinking with them.... all sorts of mixture and types... AWESOME. LOL.
Not that i really like alcohol in particular, but for once i thought i'll like to test how far i can go b4 i'm drunk, and cos i'm with dependable friends, i know if i ever end up a crazy drunk, i'll be taken care off...
But then again..... after drinking quite alot for a first timer on empty stomach... I realised i don't lose my control when i'm drunk. I might laugh more, giggle more, but not go crazy and blurt out stuff... So i guess the option of 'drinking myself to forget sorrows and shit' is out, cos all i end up is feeling more sleepy and floaty, but not drunk till i don't know my bearings. Oh, and surprisingly, i don't get red in the face either!
It's quite comical/enjoyable to see drunk friends spouting nonsense, or just gathering together to have fun..... self appointed bouncers taking care of others, etc.... ended up stopping about 5+ cos i knew anymore, i'll probably not be able to walk to liling's room to sleep. Will probably collapse then and there... By then, alot of the guys who were chugging down alcohol like there's no tmr had already vomitted or 'closed shop'.... some returned to their rooms, some sat near toilets to puke, some just stoned somewhere.. haha...
In a moment of crazyness, liling and weiloon threw his mattress down from the 4th floor to the takraw court... and we just laid there chatting, watching stars... and then liling went to get her ukelele and laptop and we played and sang abit.... after hearing looi comment that vomitting now gives less chances of hangover the next day, i stopped controlling myself and went to vomit. LOL. twice.
I'm never gonna drink that much again. especially on an empty stomach. HAHA.... no fun when i don't get drunk or am still sober enough to feel the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. In the end, we slept at 7+, when the sun has risen.....
Had to wake up at 12+ cos i told my mum i'm sleeping at 2am the previous night, so i had no excuses to sleep in..... Stomach was still upset, but no hangover thank god. Just super sleepy... Lunched with john and abel while liling was still asleep, then i went home. haha...
ALL IN ALL, a new experience to drink without caring about parent's restrictions, a familiar feeling to live in hall, mix with old lovable friends and see their weird antics, an awesome closure to the final chapter of my NUS hall life despite not living in hall for the past 2 years.

No regrets. And my sorethroat/flu was GONE.
The wonders of alcohol+insufficient sleep. LOL.
~MeHhz~

crazy

Seriously, i'm such a crazy girl.
Or rather, i TOTALLY lack focus/determination.
Been reading fan fics non-stop these days....
and have been delaying my thesis report.
What could take 2 hours to edit ended up taking 5 hours.
I end up with 3-4 hours of sleep a day just cos i'm unable to focus and keep procrastinating... I'm starting to fall sick, i can just feel it. The dryness in the throat, occasional cough, slight feeling that fever is on the rise, etc... but oh wel... I'M FINALLY DONE WITH MY THESIS. Gonna print it out tmr, submit, and BYE BYE~ hahaha..
And i can have my beauty sleep tmr onwards. YAY!
~MeHhz~

*escapes

I just wanna lose myself in the world of fanfiction, or an AU, where there's no stress/expectations/work or what not.
I'm really good at escaping reality, but i know it doesn't last. Once the story is finished, i'm back to reality where deadlines approach at an even faster pace. And i'm growing older too. And where you can't be judged by solely 'you' but rather through comparisons with others.
Am i making sense? I dunno...
I'm just feeling a unfocused right now.
~MeHhz~

life

It feels like shit to know you can never live up to expectations.
To know that u're a failure when it comes to what they imagine you to be doing.
I don't hope for much in life other than a stable job with decent pay, my family and friends around me. But why is it that you seem to picture me as a high flyer. I DON'T have the abilities, nor the desire to be one. You talk lecture scold, as if i'm gonna be in an engineering company. But i don't even wish to be in one to tell the truth. Regardless, i'll try, but still.

It feels like shit to know that u'll ultimately fail to be the person your parents picture you to be, or hope u'll be in future.
~MeHhz~

blinks

eyes damn tired for staring at comp whole day.
what have i done?
NOTHING.
Finished 1 fanfiction, the 4 newest episodes of ANTM, facebook, and spur my WICKED cravings by watching youtube vids. Argh....
And pris is watching it on wed.... i cant make it. =(
And i'm still tempted to rewatch wicked. HAHA.
oh well~ you can't have everything u want in life.
I'm seriously pampered if i ever watch wicked twice, considering that i don't even work and earn moneh..... i should stop spending so much and save for the aussie trip.
HUNGER GAMES in 15hours time~ XD
~MeHhz~