BITCH MODE ON

I just totally feel like bitching about now. The lack of sleep, plus proj stress, plus some pple being irresposible assholes and acting as if they are 'very big', plus expectations to sleep early, plus housework/home duties. BLAH.

Sometimes i do wonder if it's me who's the weird one or the one in the wrong. I have parents whom i can't seem to satisfy as their ideal daughter. I have a brother who seems to think of me as an irritant no matter how i try to change my attitude towards him. I have friends who complain having no friends in their lives even though i try to find time to mix with them. Am i the one who's not meeting other's expectations? am i not good enough to be who they want me to be?

Or is it them who keeps expecting more from me cos i always give in to what they want?

K.... there's so much more i wanna bitch. on what a fantastic bro he is and how great he seems. *note the sacarsm* i wanna say i can't be bothered blogging, but on the other hand, i can't resist either. ha. what kind of son/bro tells you he'll give a reply to whether he needs dinner to be packed for him anot, but when you wait till 8pm, the reply is still not there. i called home to ask for dinner orders, and that big boss needs my mum to call him to ASK him AGAIN, what he wants for dinner. He can 'act busy', or maybe he really is, and then shut my mum off by saying he'll call me to tell me directly. in the end, he didn't fucking call me at all. I waited awhile at the food court for some kinda reply before i called my mum to ask for feed back, and my mum was like:" huh? he didn't call you? don't care already, just come home." Then at 10pm, he strolls in from the door with his own dinner in his hands, no calls whatsoever. If i'm a dumbass, i'll be waiting at the food court for his call already. AND THEN, he later has the guts to grumble at me for entering the toilet BEFORE he went in. Meaning, just when he wants to bathe, he realised i stepped in to bathe. HA. SLOW POKE. and then he starts saying i was wasting time doing stupid excercise when i should have bathed earlier. and what as he doing? watching tv and thinking about what gifts to reward his students with. As if those can't be done AFTER he showers. Well, TOO BAD FOR HIM. I'm trying to juggle my hectic life style and just because he's working doesn't give him ANY rights to the toilet. And he dares says i'm doing stupid exercises. (sacarsm on) It might come as a surprise for him, but apparently, one should NOT do exercises too soon after dinner. So since i had to leave school at 7pm, travel all the way back to tampines, packet dinner, and wait for HIS stupid 'non' dinner order, and then i finally get to eat dinner at 9pm, i need to wait for an hour for dinner to digest b4 i can exercise, so i start at 1030pm. by the time i'm done it's 1130pm, and then i SHOWER! wha..... Oops, you wanted to shower at that time too? after lazing around in front of the tv, thinking random stuff, etc..?. TOO BAD. First come first serve. and when i pointed out he could easily bathe first, what did he say: SHUT UP.

Here i am tryingmy best to do my work (yes i'm still doing accounting proj at this time), after having slept for 4and a half hours yesterday, then trying to keep my weight down to satisfy my dad from nagging at me growing fat (i mean seriously? which dad keeps picking on his daughter for being fat?) despite the fact that i still gotta wake up at 6+ tmr morning for lab, and there he comes and make noise? STFU. All he cares is his work, his interest, occassionally buying nice food back cos he should treat the family (k, i'm being mean here, i know he cares for the family and wants to share good food), and that's all. His only job: to wipe the floor once a week. Me? i have to change fish water 3 times a day, listen to my mum rant about everything, wash the toilet once a week, help out here and there when my mum's not feeling well or tired, and then deal with my school work and now lose weight just to stop my dad from his horrible nagging. I'm really going crazy soon. and to deal with that, while i'm burning midnight oil to complete my work, i have my mum coming in every 15-20 mins chasing me to sleep. and my bro can happily surf net to whatever time he deems fit. LIFE IS NEVER FAIR. and to top it all, i can't be rude to my parents. Meaning, i can't tell my mum off for chasing me to sleep, or ask her to leave me alone. I gotta explain as patiently as possible, which is DAMN HARD to do now when all i wanna do is snap as someone, to let her understand that i NEED to complete some stuff before i can fucking sleep.

At least the plus point today was that jean/brandon noticed i lost weight~ Yay! 3-4 weeks of dieting, surviving on as little carbs as possible, with almost everyday exercise of 45mins to 1hr, i lost 3kg! Could have been 4kg instead, if i wasn't tempted by occasional kitkat, sweets, or the girlguide choc cookies. But i've been damn shag, seriously. I'm stoning away most of the time in school when my brains are not needed. Maybe by the time i'm done with my dieting (i hope i don't give up soon, though i seriously feel like), i can stop hearing my dad nagging at me for being a fat blob.

Still, argh.... at least i've aired my fustrations here. Time to get on with acc proj. 2am now. 6:50 need to wake up. Probably try to do abit more f the project b4 i sleep at 2.30. another day with less than 5 hours of sleep, less carbos, etc... TGIF. i can recharge my batteries again during the weekends. Still got CAM termpaper, acc proj, lab report, and fyp research to do. Not to forget, start mugging for finals. still need to change fish water tmr, pack my room b4 my aunties come, and wash toilet again on tuesday. WHAT A LIFE.

I'm really sorry for neglecting my close friends this period. Haven't been contacting ANY of them at all. I'm just too tired with all kinds of demands made on me. I know there are many out there who have it worse than me, esp the aki students with all their assignments etc.... But i just needed to bitch about my life for a moment, and i'll be back to the old 'anything' sheri again. Probably a more zombie-like sheri. but still the old me, not so bitchy. i don't like this me either. bleh. Come one Sheri. There are others worse off. quit your complainings and work hard. GANBARIMASU!

To be fair, my bro's good also lah.. birthdays he don't mind splurging, but since when am i materialistic? I'ld rather be treated WITHOUT sharp words and more like a human than a pest, then be showered with expensive gifts on my birthday. I'ld rather go without a gift. sigh.

I'm being stretched quite thin here. If u're a friend I deem fit to share this blog with, i hope you won't be mean and start teasing me about dieting. Thank you. I probably won't mind it that much if u start after all my assignments are done and handed in, so i won't be so stressed and snappish.
~MeHhz~