Study week...

today's the second day of study week.
I've only covered 3 chapters so far...
NOT productive at all.
Gotta mug hard tmr.

It's irritating how my emotions are all dependant on that one person, who's every action determines how the atmosphere at home is. When he has bad mood, there's a haze of gloom or fear covering us all.. we keep quiet, stick to our own rooms, spring up like a frightened bunnies when he calls us to help in this or that. When he's in a good mood, we relax, laugh, feel at ease. But the slightest trigger of stupidity puts him in a cranky mood again. It's rather stressful at times.....
I'm the youngest in the family. I'm the girl in the family. I'm supposed to help out here and there. the housework, etc.... Do this, do that, etc.... I'm being made use of, or rather do what's expected of me in this family. But i'm also the one being pampered the most. Whatever i need, i get it. I should be thankful? absolutely. But it comes to the point where, at the slightest mention of "maybe i need.... blahblahblah" and they'll wanna get it for me. But when i decided i REALLY don't need it and there's no need to waste money, they still wanna get it for me. Or rather, HE still wants to get it for me. I mean, i should be thankful, i know. BUT there's no need to get it. I DON'T WANT IT. and yet he insists on buying it.

It's really irritating how they love forcing things on me. I'm a picky person. I choose what i like. I hate it when pple buy for me stuff AGAINST my wishes. It's a freaking waste of money. I usually don't spend much. I make a do with whatever i have. When i buy something, i can afford to get the good quality ones, the best. But that's cos i only buy what i need occasionally. Take clothes for example. I buy when i see something i really really like and will use. I buy it when i have a lack of clothes. Else, i'll just stick to free tees that my aunt gives me. So when i really wanna buy some nice clothes, i allow myself to spend. maybe a nice top or two, a year for CNY or christmas, will last me quite long.
So when i say i DON'T WANT something, it's damn freaking irritating to know that i'm still being pampered and you're getting it for me. WTF are u wasting money for!? Similarly, the last time my watch spoilt, i said i Don't need one. They got an ex, heavy, thick watch for me, that ended up being stuffed at the corner of my drawer cos it's inconvenient, not water proof and i don't like it.
Can't they just accept my views on what i NEED and what i DON'T NEED!? why fucking waste money. I'm still trying to convince them NOT to buy it for me. But i'm getting really irritated. I'ld rather they give me the money and let me spend it travelling or on movies. STOP PAMPERING ME~!!!!!
I know i sound like an ungrateful bitch, but seriously, there's no need to spend unnecessary money no matter how much u wanna pamper me. ARGH...... I know i'm being whiny where others would be thankful and envious, but i HATE it when pple splurge on me. why waste?!?!!
~MeHhz~